How many times have I just thrown my hands up (or clutched them together) and told myself that the best way to solve the problem of my eczema is to simply NOT SCRATCH? It feels like the number should be equivalent to the grains of sand in the earth's oceans. I mentally dig in my heels with great resolve to simply beat the urge to scratch with sheer willpower. After all, a rash only gets worse with scratching which can lead to infection, so... don't scratch. Well sometimes not even a minute passes and my mind is thinking of something else while I dig my nails into the itch with no clue of my physical actions until I feel the blood on my leg. It's disgusting and I would be grossed out to see someone else doing this and yet I've done this in front of others and quickly recoiled in mortification. They saw, I know they saw but we'll just pretend because I'm the girl with rashes all over her body, so sad. Nothing hammers in that depression like friends and strangers looking back at you with confused pity.
As much as I itch, if I were to have a strait jacket on, my skin is at a point were scratching is superfluous. Several parts of my body would still become inflamed, red, raw and sore with no help from scratching. In fact if I tried to so much as pat my face right now it would feel like a sting scratch. My legs do itch but really, the areas of my body that hurt the most, I rarely scratch (face and chest). Still, scratching at your legs makes people ask about mosquitoes, poison ivy, something anomalous to your daily life?? No, this is just me, grossing everyone out, including myself.
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